Why It's So Important To Rediscover Yourself After Motherhood
On my last day of work before going on maternity leave, I said goodbye and left, thinking that I may never have plans on returning again. Surely after becoming a mother- the most important, meaningful, rewarding job in the world, I couldn't possibly want anything more? How could I even find time and space for anything other than that?
And sure enough, when my son was born a couple of weeks later, my whole world felt complete. I was in a complete bubble, nothing mattered except for the bundle of joy lying in my arms. Keeping him alive, safe and happy was the only role that I needed in life, and it was more than enough to keep me busy.
Fast forward a few (long, hard, draining) months, and my time and mental space started to free up a little. My son started to get onto a more predictable routine, feeding less, sleeping a little better. I was starting to miss my social life, date nights, and my old hobbies, and could feel my 'pre-motherhood' identity slipping away. The things that used to bring me joy no longer interested me, and I found it difficult to have conversations with people who weren't fellow mothers. It seemed that I was constantly living and breathing all things motherhood - something needed to change for my own mental wellbeing.
It was definitely difficult to dig deep and find the same joy as I used to from all of these things, but I slowly started to realise the importance of maintaining a sense of identity through the years of motherhood, particularly in the early 'lost' years.
Here are some of my top reasons to rediscover yourself after motherhood:
To re-establish your identity
Becoming a mother is a life-changing experience, and it's only natural that your identity shifts and changed focus when this huge milestone happens. However, it's essential to maintain your sense of self and individuality beyond your role as a mother. Rediscovering your passions, hobbies, and interests can help you regain your identity and sense of purpose beyond motherhood. Sometimes, it may even be a case of finding new passions which align with your values and principles. Use your experiences of motherhood to fuel the journey, and to figure out what your new identity is.
To prioritize self-care
As a mother, it's so easy to put your needs on the back burner while you focus on your children. What so many mothers don't see though, is that prioritising self-care is in itself an act of kindness for your children- you can't pour from an empty cup. Taking some time to engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation can help you recharge and be a better mother. Not to mention it's essential for your physical, mental and emotional well-being and will avoid any burnout.
To set an example for your children
Children learn by example, and rediscovering yourself after motherhood can set a positive example for your children. It shows them the importance of self-discovery, self-care, and pursuing their own passions. It also helps them see you as a multi-dimensional person beyond your role as a mother.
When your children go through changes in life such as a new school, moving house, or making new friends, you want to teach them to keep their identity strong throughout and not change the way they are. When they go through any emotional turbulence or face anxiety, your own journey of self discovery will allow you to hold their hand through it, and find practical ways for them to remain strong to themselves and their identity.
To widen your network
Not only will rediscovering yourself improve your existing relationships with your partner, family, and friends - in the process of rediscovery, you may also end up meeting new people depending on what your journey is. It can help you create more meaningful connections and feel a sense of purpose.
To enhance your confidence
Motherhood can be a rollercoaster of emotions, and it's very easy to lose confidence in yourself, and doubt everything you do. The journey of self discovery can help you regain your confidence and self-esteem, and to be sure of yourself in your role as a mother. It allows you to recognize your strengths, accomplishments, and unique qualities. When you take the time to prioritize yourself, you'll feel better about who you are and the role you play in your family's life - this newfound confidence can help you make better decisions, communicate more effectively, and feel more empowered.
It's important to remember that you are more than a mother. Rediscovering yourself after motherhood can be a transformative experience that brings a renewed sense of purpose, confidence, and happiness. It will teach you to prioritize your needs, find your strengths, and enhance your relationships. So, take some time to rediscover yourself and embrace all the possibilities that lie ahead!
Have you felt like you've lost any part of your identity after motherhood, and if so - what does your journey look like? I'd love to hear about your experiences - please share in the comments below!
Lots of love,
