It's OK If You Didn't Achieve Some of Your Goals Last Year, and Here's Why

Goal Planning. Intention Setting. Vision Boarding. Sound familiar?

These techniques are incredible in helping you to set out all your dreams and goals, and to figure out a plan for the year, BUT it can also bring about disappointment and despair when things may not go your way.

Let me tell you about my recent experience with goal setting...

Last year, on the 31st December 2021, I wrote a letter to my future self. I told her everything she was going to achieve that year, and all about how incredible 2022 was going to be. In true manifestation/law of attraction style, I was specific down to the last detail and wrote down exactly how I visualised my life a year down the line.

I sealed the letter, put it away somewhere safe, and set a reminder on my phone to open it on the last day of 2022.

Fast forward to two days ago - I got the reminder on my phone, but a part of me didn't want to read the letter. What if I hadn't achieved any of my goals that I had set out for myself? Did I really want to end the year thinking about how much I DIDN'T do?

Well, after several moments of going back and forth, I decided to have a little peek - and I have to say, it was pretty surprising. I was shocked at how things can change so quickly and drastically within the space of a year, at how much a person can change in a year. But most of all, it made me realise that sometimes things just don't go to plan, and that's totally fine.

There were so many goals in my letter which I didn't achieve, and some which I didn't even come close to. But after a lot of reflection and mindset shifting, there are a few lessons I've learnt which have given me a completely different perspective on how I'm approaching my goals for 2023...

Make sure your goals are actually YOURS

When I read back my letter, I was surprised to see some things written in there which I didn't even remember or think about throughout the year, which made me question whether those goals even truly mattered to me.

With an ever-growing presence of social media nowadays, the constant pressure of people pleasing and the idea of 'having it all', it's so easy to have certain goals written on your list just because it's what everyone else is doing, or because it seems like the right next step.

If you're looking back on your year and feeling disappointed that you didn't tick a certain goal off your list, reflect on your year and think about whether it actually matters to you, and whether you still want to carry it over into the next year. Is it truly a goal that YOU want to have?

A year is just a timeframe

Most of the projections in my letter were WAY off, and for a moment I felt really annoyed at myself for being so optimistic. Why couldn't I have just been realistic to avoid feeling like this when reading back the letter?

But wait- where'e the fun in that?!

The beauty of goals is to dream BIG! So what if you didn't get it this year? Maybe you'll get it in a few weeks, months, or even years. A year is simply a measure of time, and just because you set a goal at the start of the year, it doesn't mean it has to be finished by the end. Keep working, keep dreaming, and keep the goal in mind at all times. If anything, a year of working hard will give you a strong position at the start of the following year, ready to grab whatever it is you want to achieve with both hands.

Yes, psychologically it does help to have timeframes, and most goal setting techniques teach you to set SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound), but when it comes to setting life goals, don't set a ceiling for your dreams, be as optimistic as you can, and PLEASE, give yourself some grace (and time) if you get to the end of the year not having achieved some of them.

It's all in the mindset

As mothers, aren't we so critical of ourselves? We're always thinking about how we can do better, and constantly feeling guilty for not having done more- so much so, that 'mum guilt' is one of the most commonly googled or written about topics in the world of motherhood, and FOMOMG - Fear Of Missing Out on My Goals is an actual coined term (google it if you don't believe me!).

This year, make a conscious effort to focus on everything you DO, rather than what you DON'T do. Once you make this mindset shift, you'll be able to start reading between the lines when reflecting back on your year. You'll start thinking about everything you DID achieve even if it wasn't on your list of goals or resolutions.

It's often so easy to pick out your own failures rather than your successes, but a positive mindset and a change in perspective can completely revolutionise how you view your achievements.

The art of nonfinishing

I was first introduced to this concept when reading The Four Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss. In this book, Tim talks about how starting a task doesn't automatically justify finishing it. As lazy as it sounds, there are some things for which this is definitely not an easy lesson to learn, particularly because we've always been taught to finish what we start.

Although the concept is commonly used to relate to everyday distractions in life which suck up time and energy, I think it's also great in this context. The moment you realise that the pursuit of a certain target or goal doesn't bring you joy, or is not what you truly want, STOP. Take a step back, and figure out what it is that you really want. It's ok to change your goals, because as people we're ALWAYS changing, growing, and learning. It's only natural for our dreams and goals to do the same.

A great exercise is to strip back each of your goals and find the core value that lies beneath each of them. Is it family time? Is it financial freedom? Or is to learn and develop? Whatever it is, once you define these it'll be so much easier to spot when your goals are deviating from your core values, so that you can stay on track and stay focused.

Reminding myself of these four things has totally changed the way I look back on my year, because it's made me realise that sometimes you just can't predict what will happen in the space of 12 months- what you CAN control is your mindset, and how you view success and failure.

New Year's goals and resolutions are not a simple checklist exercise that you can just tick off throughout the year. They're dynamic, and constantly change alongside your own personal growth and development. As long as you're focused on your values and you're working hard to achieve your aspirations, you will ALWAYS end the year in a better position than the last, ready to face the New Year in all it's glory.

What are your goals and resolutions for this year? Did you have any last year that you didn't achieve? Tell me in the comments below!